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gothickSo. I've not posted too much recently; mostly that's because of the impending C-word, which normally leaves me feeling distinctly annoyed and sad, oddly. I don't really know when I stopped enjoying Christmas, or at least the run-up to Christmas.
I did have a success a couple of years ago, when I started thinking about it early, rather than doing my usual procrastination, and put a fair bit of energy into it. That went quite well. This is probably because I'm actually not too bad at finding things for people if I have lots of time to think about it, time to order stuff on the net, and get to the shops before they're completely packed full of angry-looking consumers, and on the roads before they're a tangled metal jam of frustrated shoppers.
This year is not one of the years where I got around to doing anything Christmassy early. And now I'm panicked and depressed, and I seem to be even more of a mass of "but I'm an atheist, and even if I wasn't I don't quite get along with all this hysterical product-buying" (which is hypocritical bearing in mind the fact that all through the year I'm a regular impulse-buyer of crap) than usual. And I appear to be generating even more run-on sentences with parenthetical diversions than normal, too.
Erm.
Partly it's probably got something to do with not having kids. Or a Significant Other, for that matter. Partly it's because I never know what to buy for people, and even when I do I don't think I've got it right. My paranoia works overtime at this time of year.
This year the fact that I've been working without a break for quite a long time probably isn't helping. I'm also at the not-so-great stage where Christmas seems to have been going on for a month or so, but I've not done the redeeming "spending time with real mates" thing yet, although that will change this weekend, at least. All I've really had so far is the office Christmas party, which I exited from early because I really wasn't in the mood.
Sigh.
I don't think it's been this bad for a few years. I've not even wrapped a single present yet. I've sent just one card. And I just don't want to start, but I also want it all to be finished so I can forget all about it. Arse.
Oh, and my foot hurts, and I've not been to karate for three weeks now because it's not been getting better, and I had a frustrating and fruitless attempt to book some physiotherapy today, and everything just seems to be very hard work right now.
Right. Rant over, for now. Bah. Humbug. Etc. etc. Normal optimistic silliness will be resumed at some point. Possibly in 2007, though, so don't hold your breath.
I did have a success a couple of years ago, when I started thinking about it early, rather than doing my usual procrastination, and put a fair bit of energy into it. That went quite well. This is probably because I'm actually not too bad at finding things for people if I have lots of time to think about it, time to order stuff on the net, and get to the shops before they're completely packed full of angry-looking consumers, and on the roads before they're a tangled metal jam of frustrated shoppers.
This year is not one of the years where I got around to doing anything Christmassy early. And now I'm panicked and depressed, and I seem to be even more of a mass of "but I'm an atheist, and even if I wasn't I don't quite get along with all this hysterical product-buying" (which is hypocritical bearing in mind the fact that all through the year I'm a regular impulse-buyer of crap) than usual. And I appear to be generating even more run-on sentences with parenthetical diversions than normal, too.
Erm.
Partly it's probably got something to do with not having kids. Or a Significant Other, for that matter. Partly it's because I never know what to buy for people, and even when I do I don't think I've got it right. My paranoia works overtime at this time of year.
This year the fact that I've been working without a break for quite a long time probably isn't helping. I'm also at the not-so-great stage where Christmas seems to have been going on for a month or so, but I've not done the redeeming "spending time with real mates" thing yet, although that will change this weekend, at least. All I've really had so far is the office Christmas party, which I exited from early because I really wasn't in the mood.
Sigh.
I don't think it's been this bad for a few years. I've not even wrapped a single present yet. I've sent just one card. And I just don't want to start, but I also want it all to be finished so I can forget all about it. Arse.
Oh, and my foot hurts, and I've not been to karate for three weeks now because it's not been getting better, and I had a frustrating and fruitless attempt to book some physiotherapy today, and everything just seems to be very hard work right now.
Right. Rant over, for now. Bah. Humbug. Etc. etc. Normal optimistic silliness will be resumed at some point. Possibly in 2007, though, so don't hold your breath.
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Date: 2006-12-16 05:58 pm (UTC)Anytime you need surrogate extra family, just come and see your Aunty Kavey! I'll give you big hugs anytime. Alternatively I can provide whichever surrogate services you feel are most appropriate - fights over the Christmas turkey, nagging about eating too much chocolate, arguments over what to watch on the telly... what I'm saying is not to forget that what you might be yearning for is probably quite an idealised view of what Christmas is like even for those with kids/ partners and it isn't all smiles and roses for most folks!
Now, about those presents... I know it's a cliche but it's a cliche for a good reason - because it's true! IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS! Whilst I'd be lying if I pretended that I felt no pleasure on receiving a particularly appropriate gift I honestly do feel wonderful just knowing that someone thinks enough of me that they want to give me a gift at all. The love that the gift represents really IS the thing I remember long after I've forgotten who gave me what!
That said, I absolutely do get Ruth's point about the guilt at buying something unwanted given the worries about wastage, environment and so on.
Last year I asked people who would normally get me a gift to please donate to one of my favourite charities instead. Or if they felt they must buy me something that I would receive (or at least receive a certificate for) then I suggested an acre of land from the World Land Trust (which you yourself kindly bought me for my birthday) or some other virtual gift that would provide some essential to wildlife conservation workers, people living in poverty, environmental charities...
People just didn't seem to like that idea AT ALL!
I do looooove choosing presents for people and I try really hard to make a personal selection for each person. That said, I do have some friends that I find it very, very difficult to do that for. I simply resort to buying something from their Amazon wishlist (or swearing under my breath if they don't one). Whilst I feel quite annoyed with myself for resorting to the wishlist I don't know why I do because I LOVE getting things from my own one. I guess because I impose this pressure on myself to personally choose something for each person and get cross with myself if I fail.
Hmmm....